The Suikoden III Comment Box Gone Horribly Wrong
by Lerayl
Summary: Luc, Sarah, Albert, and Yuber gain access to the Budehuc Castle comment box. Whackiness ensues.


It all started when Julie and I were looking through the Comment Box list on GameFAQs. We were busy amusing ourselves reading them and giggling at Suikogaiden references, when this exchange took place:   
  
**"I wish Albert/Luc/Sarah/Yuber could send notes."   
"... that would be so twisted." **  
  
... and then, what you see below ensued.   
Yuber  
1) Landis  
I think I've  
found my new  
best friend.  
Sorry, Ged ol'  
buddy.   
  
Luc  
1) Sasarai  
My brother  
is a prick. Tell  
me if he gets  
really annoying,  
I'll take care  
of him.  
2) Gardens  
The gardens  
here are nice.  
They need  
sakura, though.  
3) Love  
I'm in love with  
someone. How  
do you tell  
someone  
something like  
that? It isn't  
Gadget.  
4) Annoying  
Please tell   
Yuber to leave  
me the hell  
alone.  
5) Blackmail  
Tell Sasarai I  
know about  
his curse   
dealing with  
fashion. He'll  
know what I  
mean.  
  
Sasarai  
1) Request  
Please tell my  
brother to stop  
leaving lamb's  
blood at my  
doorstep. It's  
quite unnerving.  
  
Luc   
1) To Sasarai  
Tell Sasarai  
to talk to the  
creepy Nash  
lookalike, and  
stop blaming me  
for everything.  
  
Albert  
1) No title  
Hey. Nice  
castle.  
2) No title  
Anybody leave  
any useful comments?  
I'd be suprised.  
3) No Title  
Though he's a   
pain in the ass,  
Yuber is really  
useful.  
4) No title  
Tell my brother  
to stop staring at  
me all the time.  
Not into incest.  
  
Sarah  
1) Master Luc  
Please let me  
know if Master  
Luc seems  
exhausted. He isn't  
very good at  
taking care of  
himself.  
2) Distressing  
Please tell Yuber  
to leave me alone.  
I don't like him very  
much, and he keeps  
giving me voodoo  
dolls.  
3) Game console  
Have you seen  
a small, pink  
machine around  
that says  
"Gameboy Advance"?  
If so, it's mine.  
Please return it.  
  
Sasarai  
1) Bitches  
Women around  
here keep flirting  
with me. Nash says  
it's my boyish good  
looks. Do you think  
so?   
  
Nash   
1) Lord Sasarai  
Lately, Lord   
Sasarai has been  
acting very   
strangely. He keeps  
calling me his  
'whore'. Please  
ask Tuta to look  
into this, as I am  
highly disturbed.  
  
Mrs. Clovis  
1) Husband  
This is Nash's wife.  
If he gives you  
trouble, tell him  
I'll make him a  
juice box.   
  
Nash   
1) Hi honey  
You are big   
and scary.  
Please leave now.  
Sincerely,  
Your husband  
  
Lena  
1) Dropping by  
Nash left his etch-  
a-sketch at the  
house, so I'm  
returning it.  
  
Yuuli  
1) Love  
I'm in love  
with a certain  
someone, but  
everyone tells  
me that he's  
not the right  
one for me.  
What should  
I do?  
  
Albert  
1) Yuuli  
You're fucking  
weirder than I  
am. ...okay,  
maybe you're not.  
  
Yuuli  
1) Mr. Albert  
Do I know  
you? Aunt Lena  
tells me not  
to talk to   
strangers,   
unless they're  
handsome and  
possibly homocidal.  
  
Sasarai  
1) Yuuli  
Please go home.  
I didn't find a  
house in the middle  
of nowhere for you  
for no reason.  
  
Yuber  
1) Yuuli-chan  
Heh heh  
heh heh heh  
heh.  
  
Yuuli  
1) Dominguez  
I am using  
Dominguez Jr.  
to send these  
letters. Please  
do not misunderstand.  
  
Luc  
1) Flowers  
What kind of  
flowers do girls  
like? I'm just  
curious.  
  
Albert  
1) Luc  
What the hell?  
  
Sarah  
1) Irises  
A bunch  
of irises were  
left at my  
doorstep the  
other day. I wonder  
who it could have  
been? I hope...  
  
Yuber  
1) Girls and flowers  
I'd recommend  
starting with some  
bloodied carcasses.  
Always work for  
me.  
  
Albert  
1) Females  
Since when did  
you dig chicks?  
  
Yuber   
1) Ha ha ha  
Since you.  
  
Albert  
1) Assclown  
I know a hot  
guy who's a real  
dick.  
  
Sasarai  
1) Interest  
A lot of women  
have been asking  
about my knitting.  
Am I that good?  
  
Nash  
1) Silverberg  
Tell Albert  
to stop whoring  
at me. It was  
bad enough with  
fangirls.  
  
Albert  
1) Latkje  
Tell Nash to quit  
coming on to me,  
or I'll tell every-  
one in this castle  
his secret.  
  
Chris  
1) Knitting  
Lord Sasarai   
knitted me a scarf  
the other day.  
It was very high   
quality.  
  
Sid  
1) HEE HEE HEE  
I KNOW YOUR   
SECRET.  
  
Nash  
1) Last name  
Contrary to what  
Albert wrote, my  
last name is   
Clovis. I have no  
affilation with the  
Latkje family.  
  
Sasarai  
1) Curious  
If a woman likes  
one's knitting, does  
it mean that one  
has a chance of  
getting them to  
sleep with you?  
  
Landis  
1) Yuber  
Yuh huh huh.  
Yuh huh yuh.  
  
Luc  
1) To Sasarai  
If they know  
about your dirty  
little fashion  
secret, not a   
chance in hell.  
Crack any mirrors  
lately?  
  
Sasarai  
1) Masked Bishop  
The Masked Bishop  
wore a very ugly  
mask. Would you  
like me to tell you  
who made it for him?  
  
Sarah  
1) Bishop  
Bishop Sasarai is  
threatening to  
blackmail Master Luc.  
Please do something  
about it, before  
I am forced to   
dismember him  
with icicles.  
  
Hugo  
1) wtf  
Why is everyone  
using this as a  
bulletin board?  
I thought it was a  
comments box.  
  
Ged  
1) No title  
Chill out, Hugo.  
  
Sarah  
1) Offended  
I think I saw  
Mr. Nash trying  
to look up my  
skirt.  
  
Yuuli  
1) Shower  
I found a bunch  
of pictures of  
my brother  
in the shower  
in Aunt Lena's  
things. A little  
scared.  
  
Luc  
1) Death  
Going to kill  
Nash tonight.  
Hope you don't  
mind.  
  
Landis  
1) Unfortunate  
Nash is already  
dead. We're all  
dead and this is hell.  
  
Nash  
1) My god  
How did Landis  
know about the  
v--   
2) Sorry  
Please excuse  
my previous letter.  
It doesn't mean   
anything. Don't be  
alarmed, I was  
just tired.  
  
Lena  
1) Mistitled  
I believe Yuuli sent  
in a letter about  
pictures in my shower.  
I assure you she  
was referring to  
Rina from Suiko II,  
and the note was  
simply a mistranslation.  
  
Yuuli  
1) Strange  
I looked again  
this morning, and  
all the pictures  
were gone. Did  
Aunt Lena find  
my letter?  
  
Shadowy Figure  
1) No title  
I'm looking for  
Yuber. Is he here?  
  
Nash Lookalike  
1) Hi   
No he's not.  
  
Sasarai  
1) Advice  
It isn't healthy to  
look for naked  
pictures of one's  
brother, Yuuli.  
Not that I'd know.  
  
Shadow Figure  
1) No title  
Do you know  
where he is?  
  
Yuuli  
1) Wrong impression  
I'm sorry, I'm  
not interested in  
incest. I'm in  
love with the man  
who killed all  
the rest of my  
loved ones, thank you.  
  
Shadow Figure  
1) No title  
Please help me  
find him. He owes  
me 20 potch.  
  
Nash Lookalike  
1) Do not  
I -- err, Yuber  
won that potch  
fair and square,  
you bitch.  
  
Lena  
1) Dragon Knights  
I hear they're very  
skilled at riding. I  
wonder if that's  
true.  
  
Futch  
1) Worried  
I think someone  
is stalking me.  
  
Shadow Figure  
1) No title  
I found him. I'm  
going to confront  
him tonight.  
  
Nash  
1) Assaulted  
Some shadowy figure  
attacked me in  
the middle of the  
night yesterday!  
What was that  
all about?  
  
Lena  
1) Fascinating  
I found some weird  
pictures of Bright in  
weird poses in Futch's  
room. What does it  
mean?  
  
Shadow Figure  
1) No title  
I know you have  
my money, you  
poncy sod.  
  
Futch  
1) Privacy  
I think someone  
has been breaking  
into my room lately.  
Please tell everyone  
to respect my  
privacy.  
  
Nash  
1) Mistaken identity  
What the hell  
are you going on  
about?  
  
Sasarai  
1) Romance  
I would like to ask  
an acquaintence on  
a date. How does one  
go about this without  
seeming awkward?  
  
Lena  
1) Futch  
He sure has nice  
muscles. I bet he   
has great abs. I  
wonder if he'll let  
me see them?  
  
Luc  
1) Amused  
I'd suggest  
preparing yourself  
for the pain  
of rejection,  
for starters,  
brother.  
  
Beecham  
1) Hugo  
At Karaya village,  
I was sure I saw  
a blonde man with  
two swords doing  
most of the killing   
and burning...  
  
Sarah  
1) Broken Wrist  
Please excuse my  
different handwriting,  
I injured my wrist.  
Please tell Master Luc  
that I'm not interested in  
him, as I'm already  
seeing Mr. Nash.  
  
Hugo  
1) Blondes  
I'm on it.  
  
Luc  
1) Suicide note  
I'm going to kill  
myself today.  
Excuse my corpse  
hanging from my  
room later.  
  
Viki  
1) Dear Nash  
Whatever happened  
to your two swords?  
You knew how to  
work them so well...  
  
Sarah  
1) No title  
Why is Master Luc  
locked in his room?  
I can hear him banging  
his head against the  
wall. It's upseting.  
  
Albert  
1) Nash  
Two of them? That's  
disgusting.  
  
Nash  
1) Technique  
Not if you know  
how to wield them  
properly.  
  
Sarah  
1) Relief  
I just stopped Master  
Luc from hanging himself!  
But he asked me why  
I was in love with  
Nash. I'm not... how  
strange.  
  
Luc  
1) Confession  
Apparently not  
going to kill myself  
after all. Going to  
confess my feelings  
to someone tonight.  
Very nervous. Wish  
me luck.  
  
Sasarai  
1) Brother  
Good luck. You will  
need it. Very, very  
badly.  
2) Luc's confession  
He's never going  
to go through with it.  
  
Luc  
1) Upset  
Couldn't go through  
with it. Think I upset  
her. What should I do?  
  
Hugo  
1) Weird  
Why do Harmonian  
guys go for chicks with  
silver and white hair?  
  
Albert  
1) Luc  
Play this record  
backwards.  
  
Mrs. Clovis  
1) Attraction  
Because we're hot.  
  
Luc  
1) Albert  
Screw off.  
You sound like  
my mom.  
Hi, Leknaat.  
  
Leknaat  
1) Nutrition  
Have you been  
eating right?  
  
Luc  
1) Sarah  
Sarah makes me  
whether I like it  
or not.  
  
Leknaat  
1) Sarah  
Have you told  
her that you love  
her yet? If so,  
when is the wedding?  
  
Sarah  
1) Glasses  
I believe I need  
glasses. I keep  
misreading the  
last letter.  
  
Luc  
1) Exclamation mark  
MOM!  
Shut up!  
  
Sarah  
1) Confused from Toran  
Apparently, Luc  
loves me? All I did  
was wash his clothes  
once in the Gate Rune  
Wars...  
  
Sarah  
1) Upset  
I think the person I'm  
romantically interested  
in is in love with  
someone else. I'm  
very lonely now.  
  
Albert  
1) Solution  
You could always  
kill yourself.  
  
Yuber  
1) Agree  
I agree with  
Albert.  
  
Fred  
1) Strange  
There are so many  
people here writing  
about death. It's  
sort of freaky.  
  
Luc  
1) Hurt  
The person I love  
has been avoiding me  
lately. Did I do  
something wrong?  
I can't think of  
anything.  
  
Landis  
1) List  
Fred is #27 on  
Death's hitlist.  
  
Sarah  
1) Decision  
I've decided to leave  
(Budehuc) in pursuit  
of a happier life.  
Maybe I'll find  
someone who loves me.  
  
Albert  
1) Wrong  
No, you won't.  
You might as well  
kill yourself.  
  
Luc  
1) Leaving  
She is leaving here.  
Very desperate now.  
Definetely going to  
confess tonight.  
Must not lose nerve.  
  
Fred  
1) Disturbed  
Who's the freaky guy  
who keeps leaving  
baskets of oranges  
at my door? I don't  
even like oranges.  
  
Yuber  
1) Alternative  
Or you could ask  
one of us to do it  
for you, my dear.  
  
Nash  
1) Disturbed  
Someone keeps stealing  
all of the oranges I  
buy at the store. What  
would someone want  
with my oranges?  
  
Sarah  
1) Reason  
Maybe I just need  
a reason to live. Does  
anyone have one I  
could borrow?  
  
Albert  
1) Sorry  
No.  
  
Yuber  
1) Pathetic  
Just die already,   
would you?  
  
Fred  
1) Missus  
I think Nash might be  
gay. I keep getting  
love letters from him.  
  
Sarah  
1) Crystal Valley  
I think I will die  
in my homeland.  
  
Albert  
1) Shut up  
Stop talking about  
it and do it already.  
  
Luc  
1) Nervous  
I'm about to go  
to her room to tell  
her how I feel.  
Should I buy flowers?  
So nervous I can't  
stand it.  
  
Yuber  
1) Get it done  
If you don't stop  
whining in the next  
five minutes, I'm  
going over there and  
killing you myself.  
  
Nash  
1) Fred  
Does Fred prefer the  
company of men?  
I keep getting romantic  
letters from him. I'm  
really not interested  
in what he wears to  
bed, thank you.  
  
Sarah  
1) Poison  
I have purchased  
a vial of arsenic. I  
will mix it in with my  
angelfood cake this  
evening.  
  
Sirius  
1) Cake  
That's mine.  
  
Fred  
1) Honour  
I am not gay. I am  
perfectly straight and  
in love with a lovely  
young woman.  
  
Sarah  
1) Recipe  
Mixing arsenic into  
a cake recipe is  
harder than I thought.  
2) Thieves  
My poisoned cake  
was stolen when I turned  
my back on it for  
but a moment. Who  
would do such a thing?  
Does someone want  
me to live?   
  
Yuber  
1) Death  
Um, no.  
  
Sirius  
1) Flavor  
This angelfood cake  
tastes kind of strange.  
  
Albert  
1) Concur  
Nope.  
  
Erulogos  
1) RAGE  
WHO DID THIS?  
  
Sarah  
1) Plan B  
I will throw myself  
off the side of the ship  
this evening.  
  
Kenji  
1) Trampoline  
Put a big trampoline  
over the side of the ship  
yesterday. The kids  
all love it! Plus,  
it's a nice safety  
precaution.  
  
Sarah  
1) Thwarted  
Is someone trying  
to save my life?  
  
Albert  
1) Disagree  
No.  
  
Yuber  
1) NO  
Didn't we already  
estabish this?  
  
Albert  
1) Method  
Slit your wrists. I  
find it very effective.  
  
Luc  
1) Missing  
I can't find the   
person I want to  
confess to anywhere  
in the castle.   
Getting worried now.  
  
Yuber  
1) Albert  
You would.  
  
Sasarai  
1) Luc  
She read about it  
on the message board  
and left.  
  
Luc  
1) Crushed  
Does this mean  
she does not return  
my feelings after  
all? My life is a  
hollow lie. Plotting  
suicide now.  
  
Albert  
1) Cold bed  
I believe you didn't  
complain.  
  
Yuber  
1) Vampires  
Wooden stakes.  
Kinky.  
  
Nash  
1) Yep  
No kidding.  
  
Sarah  
1) Confession  
I want to tell Master  
Luc about what I feel  
for him before I die,  
even if he loves  
someone else.  
  
Albert  
1) Flirting  
Nash needs to put  
it back in the pants.  
I'm afraid no woman  
(or man) in their right  
mind would be interested  
in him.  
  
Luc  
1) Prepared  
Have the noose   
ready in my room.  
Must write goodbye  
note to Sarah.  
Even if she doesn't  
love me, I want  
her to really know  
how I feel about her.  
  
Nash  
1) Albert  
Have you been spying  
on me in the shower  
again? Sicko.  
  
Lena  
1) Muscles  
I was right.  
  
Futch  
1) Scared  
Help me...  
  
Shadow Figure  
1) Yuber  
Went to Yuber's room  
and found a naked  
redhead in the  
bed. I think it was  
a man, though.  
  
Flik  
1) OH MY GOD  
Why do I always  
walk onto these  
kinds of things!?  
Scrubbing eyes out  
now.  
  
NotWyatt  
1) Chris  
Anyone seen Chris?  
How's she doing?  
  
Chris  
1) Doing okay  
NotWyatt?  
Do you know my  
father somehow?  
  
Juan  
1) Nash  
I saw Nash training  
with a pair of swords  
yesterday. Why does he  
fight with that wussy  
wrist launcher when  
he can wield dual  
blades that well?  
  
Lena  
1) Ugly  
Because he's stupid.  
  
Luc  
1) Overjoyed  
Not going to kill  
self after all.  
Too happy to tell  
why right now.  
  
Sasarai  
1) Missing  
Where did the roses  
I bought for my date  
go? Upsetting development.  
  
Luc  
1) Flowers  
Wanted to buy roses,  
but Yuber wasted all  
our money on S&M  
supplies. Well,  
Sasarai probably  
won't miss them anyway.  
  
Albert  
1) No title  
Terribly pleased.  
Back in a few days.  
  
Sarah  
1) Lovely  
The world is so  
beautiful. Why isn't  
everyone smiling?  
  
Lucia  
1) Dear Hugo  
Are you eating right?  
  
Nash  
1) Weird  
When I looked in  
a mirror today, I had  
reverted to my 22-year  
old appearance. Did  
someone cast an   
illusion spell?  
  
Grosser Fluss  
1) Blood  
Kill kill kill kill kill  
kill kill kill kill kill  
kill kill kill kill kill  
kill kill kill kill kill  
  
Luc  
1) Beautiful  
The world is lovely,  
but not as lovely  
as Sarah.  
  
Nash  
1) sick  
feeling very ill today.  
please don't ask why.  
don't take me onto  
the battlefield please  
  
Sasarai  
1) Suicide  
My brother makes  
me want to shoot  
myself.  
  
Muto  
1) Mr. Clovis???  
Mr. Clovis locked  
himself into the dungeon  
today. How weird!!  
  
Grosser Fluss  
1) Dismemberment  
Blood death kill  
destruction tasty  
blood death kill  
murder yum yum.  
  
Lena  
1) Menstruation  
Nash is having  
that time of the month.  
Don't bother him.  
  
Nash  
1) hello  
blood is yummy  
gonna kill someone  
today, wheee  
  
Mrs. Clovis  
1) Wow  
That's kinda hot.  
  
Nash  
1) sorry  
excuse previous letter  
again, not feeling well  
  
Yuber  
1) Ripoff  
I think someone's  
stealing my gig.  
  
Grosser Fluss  
1) Daisies  
I like daffodils.  
Do you like them?  
Do you like them, Nash?  
  
Albert  
1) No title  
My feet are cold and  
the blood's getting dry. Hurry up.  
  
Muto  
1) Very worried  
Mr. Clovis keeps  
screaming that he's  
going to rip me  
limb from limb and  
wear my intestines  
as a trophy.  
I'm scared.   
  
Mrs. Clovis  
1) Tips  
What's the best way  
to restrain a wild  
animal for about  
fifteen, twenty minutes?  
No reason.  
  
Yuber  
1) Death  
Kill them.  
  
Mrs. Clovis  
1) Tips 2  
Their hips can't  
move that well if  
they're dead, can they?  
  
Sarah  
1) Sunshine  
Oh, life is wonderful.  
Master Luc took me  
out for lunch today  
at Mamie's bistro.  
It was delicious.  
  
Albert  
1) Yuber  
Please kill me.  
  
Nash  
1) Apologies  
I'm back. I'm very  
sorry about the trouble  
I caused, I'll try not  
to let it happen again.  
  
Yuber  
1) Hmm  
Before or after?  
  
Albert  
1) No title  
During.  
  
Yuber  
1) Heh heh.  
Understood.  
  
~ FIN ~   
  
... ^^; 


End file.
